Home for the Holidays—Is It a
Place or a State of Mind?
by Amy Scholten, M.P.H.
"Oh there's no place like home for the holidays" the old song says. These words conjure up images of being in a familiar place where we can relax with loved ones and celebrate a special day. But this song actually says much more. The word "holi-day" means holy day, and the word "holy" comes from the word "whole," which means health and healing. There's a spiritual truth to this song—when we go "home" to that place within where we are aligned with Spirit, we relax and find healing, wholeness, and "holy days."
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Whether you plan on going home for the holidays or not, it helps to keep in mind that everyone is on a quest for "home." To borrow a few opening lines from the movie Patch Adams, "All of life is a coming home. Salesmen, secretaries, coal miners, beekeepers, sword swallowers...all the restless hearts of the world, all trying to find a way home. 'Home:' the dictonary defines it as both a place and a goal or destination." Taken in either context, home is a place (physically or spiritually) that feels (or should feel):
- Comfortable, at ease
- Familiar
- Safe, secure
- Joyful
- Loving
- Natural
- Authentic
- Communal (we are "known" there)
When we have these feelings, we know we're home. Ultimately, no matter what type of goals we seek—whether or not they're judged by others as worthy or lofty—all our activities represent a longing for "home"—a desire for peace, love, security, and being known. This is something very important to acknowledge, because the quest to find home isn't always apparent when we look at human behavior. When we get angry at and judge others harshly for acting a certain way, we forget that, like us, they too are looking for home.
The Road Most Traveled Isn't the Road to Home
Just before I started writing this article, I was getting angry about all the spam in my email inbox. I thought, why do these people waste their time sending mass emails about male enlargement, replica watches, naked pictures of Brittney Spears, and fake diplomas? And why would there be a market for these things anyway? The answer is that everyone—including spammers, scammers, and glamor girls—is trying to find a way home. Home is always our desire, but many times we try to get there in a way that brings about just the opposite—discomfort, emptiness, chaos, alienation, despair, stress, hatred, and divisiveness. In the quest for home, it's not unusual to find its opposite, spiritual homelessness.
We are led away from home by the ego, an image we have of ourselves that's based on the false belief that we're strictly physical bodies, separate from everyone and everything, and therefore vulnerable and deprived. The ego defines itself by possessions, achievements, and others' opinions. Ego may reflect "common knowledge" but not spiritual Knowledge. As the world (collective ego) expands its offerings of distractions and false directions to us, it's very easy to get lost on the road home. How do we get to that warm and wonderful place that we seek?
"Presence" Under the Trees
Somewhere deep in the silence of our being, we can still catch the whispers of an ancient and beautiful memory that we haven't completely forgotten. Hidden beneath our fears, defenses, mind chatter, perceptions, distractions, and so forth, we each remember traces of an unspeakably wonderful time and place where we were enveloped in pure love, peace and joy. And we could remember more, if we weren't afraid that doing so would cause us to lose the world we have learned since then. Beneath all that we do and strive for, this ancient memory calls us back. Deep in our consciousness, we're aware of a persistent longing to return home to this beautiful place of love, healing and miracles.
Home for the holidays. Perhaps we seek it in a place with a warm fire, family, laughter, food, and presents under the tree. Or maybe we'll be home alone. Whatever our plans—presence rather than presents—will help us find our way home for the holidays.
Have you been sucked into a vortex of busy-ness and shopping—unable to find the "holy days" in your holidays? Are you having a blue Christmas without someone? Do you feel stressed and alone? No matter what, set aside time to just slow down and reflect. Look up to the vastness of the stars. Behold the moonlight casting shadows of the trees across the sparkling snow. Contemplate the unique pattern of a snowflake that lands on your glove. Get absorbed in scents of cinnamon, ginger, and other spices. Let the tension in your body melt into the comfort of a crackling fire. Snuggle with a loved one—human or furry. Smile at someone who needs it. Open the door to the home in your heart with random acts of love. This is every day holiness, and you're a part of all of it. So open up your presence and find the miracle-mindedness that leads you home for the holidays...every day.
Happy holy days!
