Explaining the High Sensitivity Trait Through a Personal Empowerment Code

by Amy Scholten, M.P.H.

People who are unfamiliar with the high sensitivity trait visit my website all the time. Sometimes I imagine what pejorative words might go through their heads when they stumble across my link to highly sensitive people! “Highly sensitive people?! Weak, self-absorbed pansies who want special treatment! Aaaackk!”

Okay, that may be rather extreme, but I bet that many people who encounter the term “highly sensitive people” (HSP) for the first time are at least a bit skeptical.

I have a strong aversion to explaining high sensitivity to those who don't have the trait. First, they may not be able to relate, much less care. Second, the term “highly sensitive” is still misunderstood and sometimes viewed with contempt. Ironically, those are also two very good reasons why we need to increase education about highly sensitive people.

Inquiring skeptics might be interested in Dr. Elaine Aron's published research on high sensitivity as a neutral trait occurring in 15-20 percent of the population. For HSPs, however, the trait is anything but neutral—it's deeply personal. It's not just something we read about in a book; it's something we experience daily in our own individual ways, and how would we explain that to others?

Explain High Sensitivity to Yourself First

Rather than explaining high sensitivity to anyone else, I suggest we clarify what this term means to each of us on a personal level, where it has the most significant impact. How do you explain high sensitivity to yourself and what effect does this have on you? I define the trait through my own personal empowerment code because it encourages me to be kinder to myself and more positively motivated.

My Personal Empowerment Code

My personal code is an empowering declaration of what being an HSP means to me:

• I have porous sensory and emotional boundaries that allow me to take in a wealth of energy, impressions, and vibrations from the world. I'm easily affected by emotions, sights, sounds, textures, lighting, smells and other aspects of my environment. I recognize that this is both a gift and a challenge. But it is surely NOT a weakness or a mental illness.
  
  

• I accept HSP as a term that helps me to understand a bit about how I process information and function (or don't function) in various situations, and I use it to help manage my challenges. However, I do not define myself by the HSP label as it is not who I am. Who I am is something that cannot be defined by or contained within the limits of any label. I am simply Being. I AM.
  
  

• I'm a growth-oriented person who will not be squelched by fear or disapproval from others. I want to be all that I am meant to be and nobody will stop me, not even myself!
  
  

• I'm aware of the importance of being kind to myself at all times, especially when I know I'm not at my best. I treat my body with nutritious food, regular exercise, and rest. I choose supportive relationships. I develop my gifts. I use my challenges and mistakes as learning tools and not reasons to feel shame. As an HSP, I allow myself to be human. I don't have to be perfect!
  
  

• I'm committed to understanding and managing my challenges. I seek to work through my painful experiences and undo the damage of my past as much as possible. But I do not build a definition of myself based on memories of disappointments and all the people who have insulted, abused, or offended me. I refuse to see myself as a victim.
  
  

• Healthy sensitivity is as outward as it is inward. I can be self-aware without being self-absorbed. I actively take an interest in other people and try to understand their viewpoints and needs, as well as my own.
  
  

• I have healthy and permeable boundaries. I can kindly and firmly say no when I want to, but I don't need to put up walls and keep everyone out.
  
  

• Sometimes I get offended by others' words or behaviors, but in all circumstances I acknowledge that being offended is a choice I make. When I try to see things more objectively, it often helps me feel better and not take things so personally.
  
  

• I don't compare myself to others. I'm on my own path, being the best that I can be, given my personal history, genes, energy level, current level of awareness, potential and most importantly, motivation. Others have gifts that I don't have and that's okay. I don't envy or resent them. I also have gifts that others don't have. I don't need to be ashamed of them or play them down out of fear of being different or disliked. My gifts are there for a reason and I need to use them.
  
  

• I don't expect special treatment just because I'm an HSP. Life doesn't owe me anything, but I owe life a lot. I learn about the HSP trait ultimately so I can get out of my own way.
  
  

• I am NOT weak. I'm strong and sensitive. Contrary to popular uninformed opinion, these two traits are not mutually exclusive!
  

In closing I wish to address all the HSPs out there who worry about what others think about them, or how they should explain the high sensitivity trait. I say explain high sensitivity to yourself first through a personal empowerment code. Empowered HSPs can move mountains and make their lives living examples of quiet strength. And that speaks the loudest to our skeptics and detractors.

Click here to purchase: Your Sensitivity is a Gift! A Guide to Self-esteem for Highly Sensitive People